Defeated

I don't know why, but I let my weekend derail me and make me feel defeated.  I didn't get back on track quickly, in fact, I sort of rebelled and binged yesterday.

I know what to do, but doing it some days seems impossible.

Today I'm trying to shake the defeated feeling (even though I weighed in this morning and had back almost all of the weight I lost last week!) and be good.

I WANT to be obedient to God's call and those this weight.  I WANT to fit into all the clothes in my closet.  I WANT to not hate what I see some days in the mirror.  I WANT it.  But some days, I lose that perspective.

I'm praying for focus today.  I know this is a journey, and a couple steps backwards doesn't mean I stop.  But for the 57th time again, I'm here.  I'm working.  I'm committed.

I hesitate to set lofty goals...but I will say this: Tyler graduates from the police academy in a month...and I want to be safely in the 180s and I have a dress in mind to wear.  It's a little snug now....so I have something to work towards.

Anyone else felt the struggle bus feeling lately?  How do I stay OFF of that bus?

Guess it's all part of the process..