Still trucking....

Yesterday was ok.  I had a milkshake at work...but I got a mini.  I may have eaten a bit too much at dinner, but I was SO hungry.  I did walk quite a bit after I got home (and I taught 2 Zumba classes), so it shouldn't be too bad.

I feel good and on track.  I'm hoping to stay on this weekend.  We don't have anything special going on, so I have no excuse not to make good choices.  Guess we will see when I weigh in on Monday!  I'm already 2 pounds down from last Monday!

Two in a row?

So yesterday I taught two Zumba classes for my workouts...and I ended the day at like 16,000+ steps.  Not too shabby.

For food, I stuck with everything I packed/planned with the exception of a few squash medallions and a protein shake after dinner.  Otherwise, right on.

It's amazing how a few days of being "on plan" will change your attitude and the way you feel.

I think I'll weigh tomorrow.

One Day

I had one good day yesterday.

I drank a couple of juices (well, only half of the beet/carrot/apple....it was just too much beets), ate the food I planned (with a healthy treat after dinner - half of a local protein bar and a protein shake after our walk), and hit 13,000 steps with the help of a walk at lunch and after dinner.

It's funny how I can dole out advice to others, but it's tough to follow myself. For example, mom was lamenting about not losing weight, and I said "Well, you have to make changes.  If you did what you've always done, you'll weigh what you've always weighed."  Well, duh.  Now live that.

I wrote on a post-it at work "Small Sacrifices" which is just how I intend to lose this weight (hopefully for the last time!).

I've ordered a book on disordered eating (hoping to ditch that emotional binging now), and I'm planning on losing 2 pounds, 17 times.  I'm not looking at the big picture.  I just want to lose 2 pounds.  Hopefully, I can lose about 2 pounds a week...but however long it takes, I'd love to hit 2 pounds.  Then I'll work on another two.

I'm working on changing my mindset, my habits, and my life.  I can do this.  I've got one good day under my belt. :)

How did I get here?

I'm at the top of a roller coaster climb.

I've been the epitome of a roller coaster struggle with my weight since college.  Lose it, gain it.  Eat my emotions, get active and try and forget about food.  But I never really forgot.  I'm a food addict.  I like good food, bad food, but all in all, I eat too much of it.  I struggle, especially when I am "alone."

I struggle with the box of cookies in the cabinet when I'm home alone.

I struggle with the endless rows of fast food when I'm driving around alone.

I struggle with food addiction.

My struggle is visible- you can see the pounds packed on.

A couple years ago, I got this partially under control.  I was down to 160 in December 2012.  And then it all came back.  Slowly at first, and then weeks where I gained 3+ pounds at a time.

Vacations where I said "screw it" and came back with my pants too tight.

I've been roller coasting since December 2012.  And I'm SO over it.

I know what to do.  The problem is my mindset and my follow through.  It's so much easier to say "forget it" and have the cookie/queso/burger.  It's easier to say "I'll sleep in" instead of working out.

I want to find a balance.  I want to get back to 160.  I felt good there.  I want to balance life and freedom, instead of this bondage to food and exercise.

Maybe blogging here will help.

So, I'm making my struggle visible.  I'm putting it all out there.  I hope it helps.