How did I get here?

I'm at the top of a roller coaster climb.

I've been the epitome of a roller coaster struggle with my weight since college.  Lose it, gain it.  Eat my emotions, get active and try and forget about food.  But I never really forgot.  I'm a food addict.  I like good food, bad food, but all in all, I eat too much of it.  I struggle, especially when I am "alone."

I struggle with the box of cookies in the cabinet when I'm home alone.

I struggle with the endless rows of fast food when I'm driving around alone.

I struggle with food addiction.

My struggle is visible- you can see the pounds packed on.

A couple years ago, I got this partially under control.  I was down to 160 in December 2012.  And then it all came back.  Slowly at first, and then weeks where I gained 3+ pounds at a time.

Vacations where I said "screw it" and came back with my pants too tight.

I've been roller coasting since December 2012.  And I'm SO over it.

I know what to do.  The problem is my mindset and my follow through.  It's so much easier to say "forget it" and have the cookie/queso/burger.  It's easier to say "I'll sleep in" instead of working out.

I want to find a balance.  I want to get back to 160.  I felt good there.  I want to balance life and freedom, instead of this bondage to food and exercise.

Maybe blogging here will help.

So, I'm making my struggle visible.  I'm putting it all out there.  I hope it helps.